Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
