It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
