So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
