can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
