Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
