We named our party play list daddy issues
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
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I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
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I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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