i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Come see our sink grown plant.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
