i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
