Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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