I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
