He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
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This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
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just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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