I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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