win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
