Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
