I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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