I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
don't judge my taste in strippers
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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