i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
