New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You took a bar mat shot.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
