so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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