he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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