I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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