my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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