this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
