shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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