and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
