you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
