the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We're using joints as your birthday candles
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
