he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
