How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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