You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
