have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize