u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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