I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
