She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We are two peas in an std pod
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
