I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
