I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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