We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
