i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
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do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
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You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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