To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
