its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
