Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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