Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
