doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize