wanna go halves on a baby?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
