piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i now understand why vodka
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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