Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
