How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
