I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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