Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
