he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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