is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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