New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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