I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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