Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
