Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
