Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
