I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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