You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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