JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
