Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't deserve a penis
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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